Food For Thought

My eyes had fallen on the ad
As I opened the paper.
An artist’s competition,
That seemed a likely caper.

I cast ajar my cupboard door
The world heard my complaint
I found no sheet of canvas,
Nor even tube of paint.

Not to be discouraged
I took a needled thread
And sewed my self together
Several bits of bread

“This shall be my canvas sheet”
I was heard to utter.
“And for light yellow pigment
I shall use unsalted butter”

For verdant hues of hills so green
For each rain forest valley
I shall dab upon my canvas
A jar of fresh mint jelly.

For crimson red the only choice
Was obvious of-course.
I chose to render scarlet
With some red tomato sauce.

With cream I made a pallid hue
To whiten up my print.
For grey I used my belly button
And fossicked for some lint.

For an amber sun I made a circle
And refrained from spending money
By rendering the solar orb
With a dab of blue gum honey.

Another problem I was facing
A rather tricky one
Was how to stop the local flies
From orbiting my sun.

One colour proved not easy
A most complicated hue
The conundrum placed before me was…
How would I make blue.

Blueberries are not blue enough
They’re purple if you please.
The source of blue I came upon
Was the veins in blue vein cheese.

At last my work was finished
My opus was complete
At least it didn’t look as though
I made it with my feet.

I packed it in a carton
And sent it off that day
And waited for the judges word
To see what they would say

Finally, soon after that
I received a prompt reply.
As I opened up the missive
With hope still in my eye.

Sadly though, my painting vanished
The judges couldn’t rate it.
It seems that when it had arrived
The adjudicators ate it.

The letter I’m holding now
This epistle sent to me
Isn’t telling me I’ve won,
But, requests the recipe.

© David Perkins

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